just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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