I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
