I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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