I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize