I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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