When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize