As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
