So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
