Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
this hospital has no fireball
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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