Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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