that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
