What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
