Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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