Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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