You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize