I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
