I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
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just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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