Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be naked everywhere
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize