ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
