i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
