i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
birth control should be required to get into college
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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