Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
