I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
