I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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