K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
