my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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