Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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