I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
