We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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