HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
