But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
