Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
