3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
