I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
