so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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