I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
