Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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