Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
