My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
