Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
