He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
