I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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