I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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