I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
