that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
