i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
