school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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