Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
