THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
