Someone shit on the floor
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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