I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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