I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
