im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
