apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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