I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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