If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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