Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
