If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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