your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
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you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
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I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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