STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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