I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
