You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
