In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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