Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
