the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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