I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
