he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
