sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
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A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
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Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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