Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I got inside last night via doggy door
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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